This morning, I drank my Earl Grey tea and watched a little film; "If anything happens, I love you." I had seen this little film before and for some reason I watched it again. I was sitting propped up with a number of fluffy pillows in the King sized bed, drinking Earl Grey and scanning through titles of shows and films. I was not sure of where I was going with the aimless channel flicking and searching and what my emotional state was in. But there it was, picked a little animated show of 12 minutes in an obscure category of Netflix listings. I watched it and it made me cry and reflect. The show demonstrates the grieving parents of a horrible incident; school shooting. It made me cry for our loss. Yeah, it's been 21 years this August that my dear boy, ended his life by chosen to hang himself. Still this took me somewhere else, I don't cry in the conventional sense, sobbing and bring tears. I'm medicated everyday so tears don't come anymore, but deep sadness and emotion is still there, it is in the back of my eyeballs. A pain of burning happens behind the top part of my eyes.
Yesterday, it started off pretty good. I was up early, drove to the Reserve, which takes me a hour and a half to get there. So it's an hour of talk radio, CBC morning show and the University of Manitoba radio show. I like to listen to talking and move on to my music play list: John Prine, Lyle Lovett, Tom Waits, Watchhouse, Chris Smithers, the Rolling Stones, Van Morrison and lots of old radio rock. When I got to work, I started with Sage Smudge. There is a beautiful Eagle carved staff hanging in the reception area, I am tasked with smudging the Staff. It is soothing and cool, I feel. It gives me the opportunity to smudge myself. It makes me feel good, you know what I mean? Anyways the day started off like that. I could hear some of my colleagues laughing amongst each other and this brings me joy. A few of my co-workers were getting ready to go pick Grandfathers (M'shoois Asin), you may know them as rocks. When a local Knowledge Keeper came with his truck to hook up the trailer to go haul the Grandfathers. It became apparent that damage had taken place. Someone, (burned me up) came and stole the battery for the jack mechanism of the trailer. The trailer needs an electric jack to lift up because the trailer is heavy and cannot be picked up an individual to hook the trailer to the hitch on the truck. Not only did some individual steel the battery, but the cut all the electrical wires and took them. Can you imagine, and the thing is, this trailer was one week old, it was just purchase by the community Health Centre. This was extremely disheartening. A lot of theft and destruction is going on in the community. At the Powwow Arbor, there was a new wiring system put in the MC stand and a solar panel system put into the Arbor, and some individual came and destroyed the new electrical system and stole the four thousand dollar system for the solar panels. This didn't feel good. It feels really ugly actually.
The fact is, there are so many good things and happenings going on in the Reserve. These ugly incidents are dark cold clouds on our shining sun-filled community and people. It is enough to make you say, "Jesus Maggot Christ sakes," and go on a running-over-Reserve-dogs-rampage. But nope, as the great Bahai' says, "Hey you know what, Maanoo." Actually the Bahai' Faith do not say Maanoo but Bahai' says a lot of cool shit. Maanoo is an Anishinaabe saying used by the Old people in the community, it is a way of thinking, "let it go," or as the Italians in the movies says, "Fuhgeddaboudit." Maanoo is still used but not very much these days. Seems it is a way of thinking that was exclusive to the Old people. Not that we don't have old people now, but I'm talking Older Old People, those ones. They used to say stuff like "Yoohoo" when in conversation with you. No one says that anymore. In any case sometimes bad shit goes on. It can ruin us or we can side-step it. Like deceased Elder Ken, once said, "if you're walking and see shit on the street, do you step in it?" We are going to have dark cloud days, but there is going to be sunshine as well.
Our community is experiencing some hardships, there is no doubt. In the midst of those hardships there is the movement of Mino-Bimaadiziwin, the Good Life. Many Reserves - Native communities are igniting flames of Traditional life, Traditional Beliefs, Traditional Languages, through Traditional Teachings and Celebrating their heritage.
It is beautiful, the Anishinaabe - the people. It is the Traditional Teachings, the Language, the world view, Anisinaabe will bring about the Good Life. I love being Anishinaabe. One of the things we hear when our People pray, is to give Thanks. We give thanks for the Earth and all the Relatives we have here on Earth. It's funny, we have everything, I mean everything we need from the Earth, but yet, human beings want more. For fuck sakes wanting stuff for the sake of having it, is what is killing us. The Earth will survive but maybe we won't and that is not the Earth's fault. How wonderous is it how a world exists at all. To have the miracles of life, living beings in this world, now you have to admit that's fucking awesome. It's beautiful how Indigenous people see the World, as all connected. Fuck those who just exploit, how sick are they. Not sick in something they have no control over, but sick in the choice of how they see the world.
Like any person, I get tired too. I can choose to focus on what is wrong: the wickedness, the depraved, the greed and the overall selfishness of individuals. The whole living as an Indian brings me back. There is always something, someone who will bring you back to seeing the Good in Life, good in the world. When I see those young singers at the Drum and how they choose to interact with the Drum is a blessing. You see, they, the Indigenous people see everything as a Relative, and the Drum is a relative. It's built into the Language, the Drum in the Anishinaabe language is a living relative, not a "thing." How beautiful is it to see the world as having so many relatives and being connected to them?
How Beautiful We Are: Anishinaabek. It's not a question, it's a fact.
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