It's a bit hard not to feel like a phoney sometimes. I mean, we are fragile creatures, prone to make mistakes. We are emotional and act out in ways that don't make sense or are not right or not good. Sometimes we do things and say things that are just plain wrong. Man, I have made so many mistakes in my life. Been afraid so many times. Been really angry so many times. And have acted in ugly ways so many times. So now, today, how can I act like a good person? How can I make statements about practicing kindness when some of my own actions were horrible? Isn't that the act of a phoney?
I think there is some redemption in most of us. I guess some things you just can be redeemed from. If you are trying in earnest to make right the wrongs, perhaps you can speak without being phoney? I don't know me.
Growing up I seen lot of violence, seen alcohol abuse, been part of abuse, violence, criminal activity, have been dishonest. Have my actions of late erased my wrong doings? Am I redeemed? Of course not. I wiill never be free of guilt, regret and remorse. All I can do is try to make a real attempt at being a better person. I will never get to be a good person, but hopefully become a reasonable facsimile of a good person.
I think that is what my Cousin Ernest was saying, when he said, "don't be phoney balloney". Try to be true to what you are saying and doing. That is what I believe he was saying.
Chi-Miigwetch for your thoughts. It is good to be reminded of this.
ReplyDeleteIts difficult at times to know who's phony. Some of them put on their best at/in and around the ceremonies. I used to think most people were phony around the lodges, always being positive and greeting you with a hug and acting like they were so happy to see you. But later began to realize, these were very nice people and i couldn't comprehend how people could be like this all the time. Took me years to realize that it was the life they were living. It was easy for me to say that they were being phony cuz nobody is like that all the time. I myself haven't reached that point with all the struggles i have gone through. I guess it was easier to put them down then to believe they were actually good people and they genuinely were happy to be around ceremonies and to greet complete strangers with so much love. I pray my daughters find this throughout there lives. But i do agree that it is important to be yourself, to be honest with yourself and in how you carry yourself, which should always be in a respectable way. Ernest was a very straight to the point kind of elder with a lot of great teachings. All of our sundance circles felt this loss when it was time for him to go to the spirit world. But we do need to take heed to his teachings about this point. Like in anything and everything is this world, there is always that balance, night/day, good/bad etc... in everything/place we come across. Its important to continue to pass on what our elders share with all of us. In the end, we all go back to the earth and i pray all these teachings will continue to live on forever so that future generations will benefit.
ReplyDeleteI am so lucky to have found so many good sincere people all around the circle. I don't have to be with them or even know them personally it is how they treat you in the circle. No rudeness just smiles and even lots of laughs. I like that.
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