Thursday, July 30, 2020

Spin the Narrative

Being on social media I have come to realize a few things: People are weird, People are naive, People are mean, People will lie, and People are stupid. When I first started on social sites I had no clue to those things. I went on a discussion board called Indianz. This is an Indigenous news site. The discussion forum was active and I registered. My handle was Kijeet (which is one way to say Your Arse in Ojibwe). On the discussion board I was quite naive and willing to try and share a few thoughts. I actually thought these people on here were known to each other and I was an interloper. Still I hung in there, putting my feet where others were walking. Very quickly I got burned, got trashed, got jarred (an old term when we are put in our spot). It took me a long time to realize people are mean, people are weird, people are naive and people are stupid. I think I now get it. On social media anything (well almost anything) can get you into a fight (in the online world).  

There is this semi-famous Indian guy who came out on twitter stating he was basically a douche bag, an arse and an abuser. So naturally there were many comments regarding his disclosure. Much of the commentary was encouraging to keep up with healing;  Some Guy - "All the power and healing to you..." While one was not so accepting; Some Woman - "He probably doesn't need anymore power, that is part of the problem here-he abused it when he had it." So I jumped in with; Me - "Let's jump on him then." Of course me I am a practicing jerk. It was exactly what it was, a shot across the chops. Some Woman did come back with, "funny how accountability looks like "let's jump him then" to you. Why so defensive, hmm?"  Anyways it made think about how the narrative can change quickly. For me, I responded - "With your hmm are you implying something? I think the guy fessed up about being an abusive jerk. Sometimes we should just acknowledge and say "Oh" but I guess the default on some is to throw another log on the fire. Holy Rock Hudson. :D" It is my own fault for engaging, I just don't know when to shut up. The Some Woman responded with a couple of posts, which are now deleted. Nothing bad actually; she did say she was implying something with her hmm (implying I am an abuser) and her last tweet was telling me to  stop messaging her and for me to stop defending the  abusive semi-famous Indian guy (my description, she named him).  This story we had is a very tame exchange in terms of fights happening online. The thing is all or most have to do with the direction of where the fight goes; it could be down right mean and ugly.  In some cases we will just lie to fit what we think is going to win (the last word) our fight. People want to control the story, the narrative, even it means throwing mud, blaming, shaming and twisting. 

This fighting online is dangerous. There are people who will take the digital word literally. Tongue in cheek does no translate in black on white type. So if someone says you are defending a predator, people will believe it. The online community is very active and bat eating crazy. We witness politicians, billionaires, celebrities all posting their views online. Some of those views are weird, some are naive, some are mean and some are just lies.  With much of what is happening in the Western world, the Old world, Global South, Global North or what ever you want to call it, there are going to be lot of stories out there. Black Lives Matter, Antifa, Missing Murdered Indigenous Women MMIW, QAnon ("keep red pilling"), Non-binary, and Penis enhancement are examples of stories being told.  There are smart folk out there who have studied the story teller and the naive watcher; they call this Cognitive Bias (basically we are stupid thinkers).  The smart people tell you to research but then again they say you will look for things which confirm your belief in the first place. I know, right (make sense of the logic in that)? So your research search will just confirm what you are thinking anyways, so why the heck waste time with research? Smart people confuse things.  So spin that narrative, it doesn't matter anyway. People will believe what they want. Indians are bad, Blacks are bad, Gays are bad, Police protect lives, Billionaires care for you, Fanta pop is good for you and Jesus Herman Christ is a handsome white man with no gay tendencies. Controlling the narrative has been known to work and it's based on manipulation. A prime example is the narrative of "America is the greatest country in the world" regardless of Its school shootings, mass incarcerations, criminal politicians, and erosion of human rights.  Among the tools the US has in controlling the narrative is Hollywood. According to Hollywood, Jesus carried a Military rifle, most likely the M27 Infantry Automatic Rifle. Not only is Jesus a Marine, but God is an American Hillbilly. Now that is one great story. 

Actually the real story we are not even made in God's image, the real image of God is the Elephant. Yes the Indians have it right. The Elephant has the qualities of a god. They are not trying to control the narrative, not trying to shame, guilt others or manipulate them. Humans are the worst. I should know I happen to be human. However, one of the great things about his human is that I am Anishinaabe, a member of a select group of higher level species of the human. We know the narrative being sold by the world about the "Neehie" is wrong and ugly. So there you have it, we shall spin the narrative to correct this gross injustice. Spin by just telling the truth about how mighty, how great, how beautiful, how generous, how ingenious, how handsome, how strong and how humble we are as a people. 

I am tired of the hurt, the anger, the brutality, the lack of compassion, the destruction and the narrative being told. So let's Spin the Narrative. We need to spread stories. We need to tell our own stories, with our own voices. There are some great story tellers out there. We need to seek them out and to support their voices, their stories, their narratives. We need to hear the good fabricator (story teller, bullshitter, fibber, liar).  



Monday, July 20, 2020

Longer Boats are Coming to Get Us

"Mary dropped her pants by the sand and let a Parsons come and take her hand. But the soul of nobody knows, where the parsons goes."
- -
I want to just cry. The pain of tears get stuck in the back of my eyes. The years are gone.  I take some music for my memories and there is pain, longing, hurt and regret. This is what death will do to us. Funny because death is meant for us all. 
- -
"Cause when I'm dead and lowered low in my grave, that's gonna be the only thing that's left of me. And if I make it to the waterside, will I even find me a boat or so?"  
- - 
Rage hits the head like a battering ram. The anger is not meant for me. It is meant for me. How can I suffer without making other's suffer as well. There is a pain in me that should exist but it shouldn't cause pain to others. 
- -
"Will you make us laugh, will you make us cry? Will you tell us when to live, will you tell us when to die? I know we've come a long way, we're changing day to day, but tell me, where do the children play?"
- -
There is no way to fix the past. There is no I should have done this or didn't do that. The past is stuck in our head, in our heart and we carry it. To wish is to burden the heart. The heart can't be fixed. I cry but the tears get stuck in my eyes and the only thing is a pain behind the eyes and it burns. 
- - 
"All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside, it's hard, but it's harder to ignore it. If they were right, I'd agree, but it's them you know not me. Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away, I know I have to go."
- -
It is 15 years since my boy was killed, hanging himself by string in a bedroom closet at the his mother's apartment. A beautiful soul, troubled with pain. It is a pain I should have been able to ease. The pain he couldn't stand and it took him. Now I sit here wanting to take away my own pain.
- - 
"Well sometimes you have to moan when nothing seems to suit you. But never the less you know, you're locked towards the future." 
- -
My dear Mom also died from cancer 15 years ago. I was blessed to know such a good person. It is my heart break that I did not do more for her when she was alive. Now I can only wish and wishing just crushes the heart because there is no chance to fix things
- -
"Trouble, Oh trouble set me free. I have seen your face and it's too much too much for me. Trouble, oh trouble can't you see, you're eating my heart away and there's nothing much left of me."
- -
There is always the pretense of living like there is no pain. There is laughing teasing and getting up in the morning. A smile and lots of laughs. When no one is looking you bow your head and know you are false. The regret, the loss, the longing, the anger, the rage, the crying is just growling deep in you stomach. 
- -
"I listen to my words but they fall far below. I let my music take me where my heart wants to go. I swam upon the Devil's lake, but never, never, never, I'll never make the same mistake." 
- - 
Lot of my rage has been with me throughout my whole life. Pain has been there for such a long time. Uncertainty, fear and selfishness was something I carry. Now the pain is different. It's not the pain of being through hardship, it is a pain of ultimate loss. Loss of a child, of your baby is a loss that can't be healed. Time is not a healer. 
- - 
"Look up at the mountain I have to climb. Oh yeah, to reach there. Lord my body has been a good friend but I won't need it when I reach the end."
- -
People always say "I would give anything for more time with my loved one." I can't say that. Sure I would love to sit with my Mom in her kitchen, sharing a cup of tea with her and looking out at the river, just talking about everyday things. How I miss her. But I can not give up anything for the chance to sit with Mom. I have a beautiful loving wife. I can't imagine the pain of not having her in my life. So I know giving up anything is just an empty boast. 
- -
"I'm looking for a hard headed woman, one who will make me do my best. And if I find my hard headed woman, I know the rest of my life will be blessed yes, yes, yes. 
- -
I want to step off this planet. But when I do, what will my wife feel? What will my children think? My grandkids? Is the selfish me, who can't keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep walking? I feel so heavy in my head and my heart. But the selfish part and the nosey part of me wants to keep seeing what is in store. But it is so hard. I go to bed every night with the question of when should I go? I think of my Boy, my Dad, my Brother, my Nephews, my Cousins, Uncles, Aunties, and wonder where they are now? Will I be able to find them when I am dead? 
- -
"My childhood days bring back sad reflections of happy days so long ago. My boyhood friends and my own relations have all passed on like the melting snow."
"Oh but I am sick now and my days are numbered, come all ye young men and lay me down."






Knowledge Keeper and Knowledge Giver

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