Namesake, an Honour.

I have never been sure as to who I was named after or how my name was chosen. I never did ask my Mom about that as well. Although it is not on my birth certificate, I do have a second name, it is Julian. I saw it spelled Julien on some Residential school documents. But I just spelled it the way I thought it was spelled and have kept it like that. My second name is a Baptism name given to me by my uncle Bob and Godfather. I always thought I was named after Stephen in the Bible as that is how my name is spelled. I don't like that spelling. As a kid the Teachers would pronounce it "Stefan" and all the kids would laugh. Or some of my friends would tease me by calling me "step-hen". Again another form of ridicule. Kids can be resourceful in their making fun of others, or make fun in the strangest ways. Anyway, my name has always been spelled as Steve by my Mom and Dad. Not sure why it is spelled Stephen in the birth certificate? I never even knew it was spelled like that until about grade 3 or 4. Looking at the original baptism certificate it is not in my Mom or Dad's handwriting. So I can guess it was filled in by the Nun or Priest.  In any case, I was thinking about namesakes and what that means.
My Dad's name is Andrew Howard. He is known as Henry, actually he is called Henreence, (only the older folk have called him that name) aka little Henry. He was named by the Courchene Women (Virginee and Margaret) for their little brother Henry, who had passed away. So Dad became their brother's namesake and their adopted brother. Funny how your name sticks, even in some of my Dad's identification documents his name is spelled Henry.

I have a namesake. His name is Jordan Steven Daniels. My nephew. He is a cool handsome kid. I love him very much. Can you imagine how I felt when I heard that Jordan was my name sake? Here he is with a Little Boy Water Drum. I made a pledge to myself to make sure I let Jordan know how much I care for him and to always show him kindness. Not sure if I am living up to that pledge but he does mean much to me.

I did have a namesake in the name of my Son Donovan. He was Donovan Steven Scott Ray. He is no longer living. I do think of him everyday and how I failed him. I vow not to do that with anyone that I care for. It is a constant struggle to live up to that

We named our bulldog puppy after Bruce Willis. Because of how great a hero Mr. Willis is and really how cool he is and looks.  It is no honour for Bruce Willis the actor, to have a puppy named after him, I am sure, but what the heck anyway. I wonder how many people name their kids after a super hero or a rock star? I even heard someone named their kid after a computer...Apple?  Steve Jobs must be their hero to name their child after his computer? Actually I think they named their child after the fruit.

But really to have a namesake is a big deal. We normally do namesakes for our parents or grandparents and of course our children. My cousin Brian and my brother Howard are named after our Mishom, Ambroise, aka Miscus. Brian is called Miscus as well. While my brother is Howard. I have a friend Sal and he is named after his grandfather. Sal named his son after his dad. His nephews are also named after the Dad. It is an honour to be named after a Father or Grandfather. I wonder though about George Foreman? I believe all his sons are named George? I guess that is something.

My Son Donovan has two namesakes. My niece Missy has named her boy, my Godson, Donovan. Poor Donovan lives with Cerebral palsy . Also my Grandson Jackson is named after Donovan and his Great-grandfather Albert.

I think being a namesake is more than just being an honour. I think it is a way to keep someone alive. Their memory alive. Or a namesake could be for someone important in your life, whether its a hero, a family member, a son, a Dad, or a very good friend.

Not sure what I wanted to convey in this post. In any case I like that we can have a namesake. Let's do right by our namesakes.

G'waabaamin Elizabeth Fontaine

Born: June 16, 1928

Date of Passing: April 17, 2012

ELIZABETH FONTAINE

ELIZABETH BEATRICE FONTAINE (nee GUIMOND) June 16, 1928 April 17, 2012 Mothers are a blessing everywhere to their children. But, some mothers have their own uniqueness as well. Such was the case with our mother who became The Mother of Many Children! Elizabeth was born in Sagkeeng First Nation and attended the boarding school at an early age of three years old. She was the daughter of Pauline (nee Courchene) and Xavier Guimond. She was also predeceased by her husband and co-worker Stan Fontaine Sr., in 1997, her children Vivian, Maxine, Anne and Arnold, her sisters Lillian, Marie and her brother Harry. She leaves to mourn her daughters Bertha (Marcel), Irma, Ingrid (John) and Iris, sons Stan Jr. (Ramona), Barry, Derry (Karen) and Darrell, 24 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren, sisters Antoinette Boubard, Emily Boulette, Lorraine Morrisseau and Grace Johnson and many relatives. In 1968, Elizabeth finished her upgrading classes at Sagkeeng and moved with the family to Winnipeg in 1969. She got a job with Social Development in 1971-1972 and with the Native Alcoholism Council of Manitoba in 1973, where she worked until her demise. She just missed the 40th anniversary of the Native Addictions Council which was celebrated in March 2012. During her tenure with the Native Addictions Council, Elizabeth became one of the original workers and supervisor/elder of the Pritchard House Treatment Program. During that time period, it is estimated that there were approximately 70,000 clients who had gone through the agency. Many clients and ex-clients have come to know her from across Canada. She was once featured in a documentary entitled, The Mother of Many Children! Elizabeth's main philosophy of life was the Golden Rule, to treat others as we would be treated. For her, the job became more of a sacred responsibility to our fellow human beings. She was prepared to go the extra mile and would often cab it to work in the early morning hours and put in some nine hours each day. The many who knew her espoused her for her strength and kindness. Elizabeth left an indelible mark in the minds and hearts of those who came to know her. Even in her weeks before her demise, she admonished some of her children, Always treat other with respect! Let us do today as she would have us do! Let us be clean as she would have us be; Let us be brave and fine and strong and true; Fulfilling her dreams for you; her dreams for me. Above the gift is the Giver; let us give; The precious substance of our life to make; The world a better place because we live. Let us live worthily for her dear sake. By: Grace Noll Crowell The family wishes to extend it deep appreciation to all for the care given to our mother in her time of need. Thank you kindly. Wake service will be held at Thunderbird House, 715 Main Street, Winnipeg, MB beginning Wednesday, April 18, 2012 at 8:00 p.m. to Friday, April 20, 2012. Funeral service will be held at the Thunderbird House, 715 Main Street, Winnipeg, MB on Friday, April 20, 2012 at 1:00 p.m. Interment will follow at Brookside Cemetery, Winnipeg, Manitoba. Condolences may be sent to the family c/o Spirit Road Funeral Services Inc., PO Box 200, Fort Alexander, Manitoba, R0E 0P0, 204-340-6490 or friends may leave a message of sympathy on the web site of the Omega Funeral Home, www.omegafuneralhome.com.

 

 

Native Elder to Adopt Archbishop Weisgerber as brother.

Via Email.  Tobasonakwut Kinew:

Indian Residential School Survivors to adopt

Roman Catholic Archbishop in the name of Reconciliation

Traditional “Naabagoondiwin”  adoption ceremony to be held in Winnipeg

On Saturday, April 14th, Anishinaabe elders and community leaders Phil Fontaine, Bert Fontaine, Fred Kelly and Tobasonakwut Kinew will adopt James Weisgerber, the Archbishop of Winnipeg, in an open ceremony at the Thunderbird House.

This is the first event of its kind in the reconciliation between residential school survivors and missionary churches. Naabaagoondiwin is the Anishinaabe ceremony of “making relations”. This ancient ceremony was carried out by families seeking to share their love and welcome with a new relative, or in times of welcoming newcomers into their territory, or to bring peace between warring nations, feuding families and rival villages.

In the same spirit, a bond of brotherhood will be formed between the four residential school survivors and the archbishop. By forging a bond of kin, they will show their commitment to the project of reconciliation between First Nations people and other Canadians, and to healing the effects of the residential school era.

“The ceremony is to be a public event so that more survivors, the generation following who are still impacted, and leaders can witness the historic and unbreakable bond that will be be made,” says elder Tobasonakwut Kinew. “It is our fervent hope that this will further the process of reconciliation in a broader sense.”

People will also witness the younger generation conducting the adoption ceremony, as a statement that First Nations people and traditions will survive into the next millennia.

The public event will be held at the Thunderbird House, Winnipeg, from 1-4 pm.

BACKGROUND:

Tobasonakwut Kinew and Archbishop Weisgerber first met during the April 2009 delegation of First Nations people that had an audience with Pope Benedict XVI, when the Pope addressed the Catholic Church’s involvement in the Canadian Indian Residential School system. Phil Fontaine, then National Chief, led the AFN delegation of Residential School survivors, with Tobasonakwut Kinew invited as the Elder. Archbishop Weisgerber was an integral part of the planning and the clerical delegation.

Since that time, Tobasonakwut and the Archbishop have become close friends, with many meetings and discussions, leading to Archbishop Weisgerber participating in spiritual ceremonies while Tobasonakwut began attending church at the Archbishop’s invitation. More dialogue continued, with Kelly and both Fontaines becoming involved.

Tobasonakwut Kinew, LL.D., is an Anishinaabe Elder, pipecarrier, member of the Mideiwin and Sundance or many years.  He is an instructor in the Indigenous Governance and Masters of Development Practice programs at the University of Winnipeg.

Fred Kelly is an Anishinabe Elder and a member of the Midewin, the Traditional Law and Medicine Society. He continues to serve as an advisor as an advisor to many prominent First Nations leaders in Canada and was also a member of the team that negotiated the Indian Residential School Agreement.

Phil Fontaine, LL.D., is a renowned Anishinaabe leader, a former three-term National Chief of the Assembly of First Nations, who is widely regarded for bringing about theIndian Residential School Agreement (2005) and the formal apology of the Government of Canada in 2008. Phil is a consultant and an in-demand public speaker.

Bert Fontaine, brother of Phil Fontaine, is a family patriarch, a leader in  the Sagkeeng First Nation, and a renowned hockey player.

The Most Reverend V. James Weisgerber, S.O.M., D.D., is the Archbishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Winnipeg, and serves as President of the Assembly of Catholic Bishops of Manitoba and Co-chair of the Moving Forward Together Campaign.He has worked on social justice issues his whole life.

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/Fontaine-apologizes-to-Catholics-during-reconciliation-ceremony-147450135.html

MIKE DEAL / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS Enlarge Image

Archbishop James Weisgerber (centre) and his adopted brothers Tobasonakwut Kinew, Bert Fontaine, former Assembly of First Nations national chief Phil Fontaine and Fred Kelly dance around the Thunderbird House after a reconciliation ceremony Saturday.

A sombre Phil Fontaine apologized Saturday afternoon for indiscriminately blaming all Catholics for his treatment in residential schools.
"I tarred everyone with the same brush -- I was wrong, simply wrong," the former Assembly of First Nations national chief told a gathering of reconciliation at Thunderbird House. "I apologize. I say that from my heart."
Fontaine was part of a traditional ceremony, in which he and three other men adopted Archbishop James Weisgerber as an act of reconciliation.
But as the five men each spoke in turn, Fontaine issued his own apology.
His past public reaction to his experiences in residential schools overshadowed the goodness of many people, Fontaine said: "My words have also hurt a lot of people, my bitterness, my anger. I was indiscriminate in my words."
Weisgerber said that he was deeply moved by the willingness of aboriginal people to forgive, after the church did so much damage to aboriginal people and their culture. "I believe we have a very long way to go, but it’s a road worth travelling," Weisgerber said.

What happened to...

The notion of Communal ownership? Reserves were like that. People were part of the community. Everyone had a stake in what happened in the homes and the whole community. Now we see that there is a push to privatize the Reserve? Manny Jules wants us to be able to sell off the Reserve. Let business come in on Traditional Territories. Oh well, I guess things change.

We don't think about our Children's children anymore. It's all about now. What have you done for me lately? Not yesterday but today.

Paramount in the Native community was balance and that included thinking for all. Not one or two, but for all.

It looks like we've lost that, what do you think Manny Jules, Patrick Brazeau, Joseph Quesnel?

Circle of Life Gathering: Healing Our Grief

March 27, 2012

Re: Circle of Life Gathering: Healing Our Grief After Suicide Loss

Hello Folks;

This is the third year of our four year journey. We are hosting a Gathering for Survivors of Suicide this May 29 and 30th, 2012. The journey is a personal journey for many of us. We are Survivors. A loved One of ours has passed on by way of taking their life. We started this journey with the intent to let people know that they are not alone. There are others that are trying to cope with the loss due to suicide. It is a difficult journey but one that is filled with hope. It is a hope that others will come out and share, while lending us a helping hand and helping others as well.

The theme of this years’ Gathering is Healing our Grief. Elder Kinew has pointed us in that direction. There will be more open and sharing forums for the people at the Gathering. We will have Traditional Elder Ron McDonald and his wife Sally to share how they are walking through their grief. Donald Courchene hass begun the information sharing with the public. A few entities have come forth with donations to help with the Gathering. The success of the Gathering has been through the generousity and kindness of others. This year Manitoba Public Insurance Corporation will be donating one thousand towards the costs. CTV had donated a four hour hot air balloon ride. Manitoba Hydro has donated 2 backpacks. Sally McDonald has promised two Star Blankets. David and Sheryl Blacksmith have donated a number of art prints. Edwin Twoheart has made two Single Eagle fans. Stephanie Eyolfson at Thunderbird House has again donated the use of their building for the Gathering. Jackie Traverse is donating art work for Give-Away. Susan Courchene, with her friends continue to support the Gathering with the preparation of food and labour. We have commitments to help the Gathering from Chickadee Richards, Mitch Bourbonnier, Cheryl James, Billie Schibler and David Blacksmith. The Gathering is always looking for more help.

We spoke with Gerald Folster from Brokenhead Ojibway Nation. Gerald has a Ceremony called the Medicine Tree Ceremony for people who have lost someone to suicide. He is willing to participate in the Gathering and do the Ceremony. Corinne Kennedy of CMK Design is working on a poster. Donald has been corresponding with Wendy Hill of Ontario to participate in the Gathering. In the past we have brought in many guest speakers from various places, but this year we are focusing on local people to lead the Gathering. Been also speaking with Bertha Fontaine of Native Addiction Council of Manitoba and they are interesting in taking part at the Gathering.

We will keep you updated as to the Gathering’s progress. Feel free to contact us at rightojibwe@yahoo.ca. We would like to hear from you about the Gathering.

Miigwich

Steve

“They keep telling us that we have no control to stop this demon of suicide, and they’re lying to our faces. They gotta be stopped. HE’S gotta be stopped. He needs to understand that he causes the very problem that he writes about–the type of person who convinces us that we cannot help us. That we cannot find the answers within.”
–TRAUMA– by Gyasi Ross



We have been very fortunate to have lots of people supporting this Gathering. We of course go hat in hand looking for help. Individuals and some organizations have been very supportive. We  send out lots of requests for help. The response is very good.  


One of our letters looking for donations. :)

April 18, 2012

(Business identified)

Dear

Re:      Circle of Life Gathering – Life After Addictions and Suicide Sponsorship

This is a letter of introduction and request for a financial or in-kind contribution.  The Circle of Life Gathering is in its third year of occurrence.  The gathering was first started in 2010 as a result of the numerous deaths of young people attributed to suicide.  Suicide has no boundaries and can be contagious in some communities.  The initial Survivors of Suicide Gathering was a gathering of people who had lost loved ones to suicide and for people who wanted to share their efforts for bringing awareness to suicide and comfort for those that had lost loved ones.

The gathering is strictly a volunteer effort; the coordinators of the gathering receive or seek no compensation for their hard work in bringing this gathering to its happening.  Steve  is the main organizer of the event, with the assistance from Don Courchene and the spiritual guidance and assistance from Elder Peter Kiniew. Together they coordinate the event and seek donations for the event.  The gathering is not affiliated with any organization, political or service delivery agency, but attempts to be inclusive of some groups that offer services and support to individuals seeking emotional and spiritual guidance and assistance.  The Thunderbird House has generously donated the use of its facility for the event.  We have received personal donations from individuals and agencies that support such an endeavor to bring attention and focus on the issue of addictions and suicide.  TBH (a registered Charitable organization) administers donations on behalf of the Circle of Life Gathering.

The past event witnessed personal accounts of the devastation suicide and addictions have on the people left behind.  We were fortunate to have a funding agent fund the cost of bringing in two dynamic speakers last year, George Chuvalo and Theo Fleury.  Mr Chuvalo is a long time speaker on suicide and Fleury was a professional hockey player who had is career end as a result of his addictions.  Both delivered emotional speeches that enlightened the people at the gathering.  The gathering also made available sweat lodges for those wishing to seek healing through the sweat lodge.  Some of the First Nation high schools sent their students to the gathering to hear firsthand of the devastation of suicide and addictions.

The gathering is free to attend for any individual but we have limited space because of the facility in which we are fortunate enough to be able to use.  The gathering is evolving and has received attention from various service delivery agencies but we are not practitioners and attempt to offer no “how to” advice in suicide prevention.  We believe by bringing people to the gathering they can share their experiences with others and they can be spokespeople in trying to address suicide and addictions in their communities.

One of the groups we include in the gathering is Compassionate Friends, a volunteer group that helps people who have lost loved ones through different unfortunate circumstances.  We this year have accepted the volunteer services of Mr. David Blacksmith to act as the emcee of the gathering, Mr. Blacksmith is a well-known spiritual healer.  Some First Nations would like to bus their students to the event, some from as far away as Cross Lake.  Suicide has devastated some of the remote First Nations in northern Manitoba and we simply want to be able to demonstrate to the students that people care and are willing to share experiences. 

The gathering is scheduled for May 29^th and 30^th, 2012.  (Amount of type of donation looking for inserted here)   Should you wish to discuss this matter in person with our council, we would be pleased to meet with you at your earliest convenience and can be reached at (204) 470-5207.

Yours truly,

Power Dynamics in Friendships.

You know who is the greatest? Muhammad Ali. He is in fact a great individual. Not just for his boxing career, but in how he stood. He was born on January 17, 1942. He is a great man because he made mistakes. He was not a god or a king, he was the greatest, but yet he made mistakes. He fought too many fights. The last two he should never have done. But maybe it was his ego, or wanting a taste of one last glory or maybe a pay cheque. In any case it was his being a man of mistakes like anyone else that made him so great. He did great things and yet he was just one guy. You have to like that. He was also a gifted poet. One of his many quotes and quips is "A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life." I really like that one.

If you are the same way you are after 50 as you were when you were young, well that says something. Maybe it says you are still fun and never let age stop you. I guess that would be okay, but what I think it means is that if you are still as stupid as you were when you were young, than something is really wrong. I think that many many people are like that, still at that mindset. Still trying to control our spouses. Still getting upset over things that really don't matter. Trying to have everyone do what we want. Not having the patience for different opinions. Than we are a sure sorry grown up.

I have many friends growing up and also in my adult years. I see them and speak with them on occasion. It is interesting to see how they are. I hope that I am not speaking or acting the same way as I was when I was twenty? But I know that many times it is the case. I still get mad, lose my patience and say bad things. I try to remember to be kind. A chore sometimes, but it is how I want to live. Hard thing to do.

With friendships or any relationship for that matter, there is a power association that binds, overlaps or interferes in that friendship. Lets look at a marriage; man and wife. They may say that they are equal partners in their relationship, but are they truly? In some cases maybe, but most likely not. Someone is the dominant one.
That is how it is in many friendships. I had many friendships like that. I was not the dominant one. I guess many factors go in the power dynamics of a relationship; age, character, personality, physical structure, job stature, education and so on.
I am no longer in many of those types of friendships now a days. It just like being 20 and now being 50. If you still think the same at 50 as you were 20, well that is just sad. I think many women go through that; being abused when they are young. When they are older, no longer taking it. Maybe for men it is a hormonal thing. Lots of testosterone when you are a young guy. You start to lose testosterone as you go older. Maybe your jealousy, anger are lower as well because of the testosterone and not because you have changed your thinking, but who knows. So your new patience and lack of anger is not due to your enlightenment but to hormones? Anyway, some people never change.

Never change like me, my daughters have been saying I am an arsehole, and that is true. I really really want to be not an arsehole. Still I don't think the same way as I did when I was 20 as I do now. At least I hope so. The power dynamics in my relationships have changed, I am no longer subservient with old relationships. I don't need to be in those type of relationships, I can just walk away from that type of power relationship. I also no longer trying to be boss at home. As a matter of fact the role is reversed, my wife has the power as it should have always been. Although I still have the bad habit of trying to control my adult kids. Oh well, maybe at 100 that will finally come. The power relationship with the children will be one of equals.

So if you are STILL in a relationship with a disproportionately power connection at this age, then get the hell out. :D

Redemption: Is it possible?

In order to redeem ourselves that implies that we were once good, I think? What happens if you lived almost your whole life as an arsehole? What if you were a bad person? What if you were a bully? An angry dude who got away with fighting people all the time? Then how can you seek redemption? Maybe change is the better way to go?

I know these guys that are now Traditional; Spiritual Advisers, Teachers, Elders. But that has happened in a relatively short time, considering their age. But I am not here to talk about them, perhaps they have changed or have redeemed themselves, who knows. I am talking about me. A guy who lived a pretty good life but was also very volatile, angry and quick to get explosively mad. Maybe that anger was a defense mechanism, but anyway what does it matter, it is behaviour not to be excused.

Who really knows us behind closed doors? Are we the type to get mad, swear around because the child broke a glass on the floor? Are we the type to swear or even hit our spouse for what ever "reason" we think of at the time? Or do we swear and threaten our kids when they try to speak up for themselves? Who knows? Well your family knows, your wife knows, your kids know. That's who knows.

So to the outside world you are this pretty good person but we know who you really are. You are an arsehole; a bastard. Can you change? Can you seek redemption?
Or should just vanish. Save the family by stopping? There may be suffering but what is the bigger suffering?

Today A former hockey coach (Graham James) was sentenced to measly two years in jail for being a child predator sexual abuser. He took 30 hours of a program and is redeemed in the Judge's eyes. Unreal. This is what I am talking about. This guy lived his whole life a certain way and now has gained redemption. Shit, that is wild.

There is a process going on called the Truth and Reconciliation Commission on Residential School Survivors. Don't know if any of the Teachers, supervisors, Nuns, Priests, police and government decision makers can ever ask for redemption. But hey what the heck, only they know, right?

People are on a campaign in the media telling Indians to "get over it. How can it still affect them? Hell some of them never went to school."

I guess even if you lived a life in a certain manner, it doesn't matter, you can always be redeemed, no matter what you did.