Friday, September 14, 2012

Dirt little Secrets

I must confess, I have some dirty little secrets. Yes, I know, doesn't sound like me. But it's true, I do have these dirty little secrets.

I am a tea bag. I drink tea, every single day, all day long. I drink a pot in the first hour that I am awake. But there's more. I buy tea at coffee shops. When I do buy tea, I have these little tricks. I will go to Tim Horton's and order an extra large. At Tim Horton's in Canada, the extra large is 24 ounces. With the extra large you get two tea bags. So I order one tea bag to be on the side. That way I get a free bag of tea. Same thing with Star Bucks. Star Bucks has a venti size cup. When you order venti tea, you get two tea bags in the cup. The tea bags are very big and have bigger leaves of tea. So when I order the tea, I ask for both tea bags to be put on the side. I keep those bags for pots of tea at home. I use the single tea bag size from Tim Horton's for the Star Bucks venti cups.

I do more than that. When I purchase tea at other establishments, like that of 7-11, I put one bag in the cup of hot water and put one tea bag on the top of the lid when I go to pay. I am never asked if I have two tea bags. There I said it, I take two tea bags at stores that don't serve you the tea. My dirty little secret.

You know the thing about dirty little secrets, they never stay secret. In the Reserve everyone knows everyone's dirty little secrets. Same with the leadership. People seem to find out the secrets of what goes on behind the chamber door.

I wonder if you do have a dirty little secret, should it be opened? I mean what if you did something that you are not proud of, but it was a long time ago. What if exposing it, would just open wounds? What if keeping it secret you are not hurting anyone. In fact maybe it is helpful to keep it secret? What if it is a secret that only you are suffering about? Shouldn't we be able to forgive ourselves from a mistake?

Not sure if there is a time when you can do that? Forgive for some stupidity in your past. I know in Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Step Program has a step that is something like our dirty little secret opening. Step four and step nine are kind of like opening a secret. First it is acknowledging that secret and then opening it, except when that secret hurts someone else. Our dirty little secret should be kept secret if it is going to hurt someone. Maybe your dirty little secret involves infidelity. Maybe by exposing your dirty little secret you are going to wreck the heck out of someone else life. What do you do?

In our Reserve there are dirty little secrets people talk about from the "old days". From our great-grandparents days. We hear that some person is actually the child of another person. We hear that this girl is actually our sister or that person is our First cousin. People don't want to accept the actions of the old people. They only see them as that, old people, elderly, our ancestor, our grandparent. They don't see them as being young and having a life before being old. With a young age there comes mistakes. We are human and we are going to make them, guaranteed. So if your brother is now married to your sister, is it possible? Because your brother is really your half brother and his wife is your half sister?  Make sense? The nieces and nephews say,"no way, my grandmother would never cheat on my grandfather".  So we hear about those dirty little secrets. But in reality those dirty little secrets are just chapters in a life. As my friend once related a story about his son-in-law; the son in law said to his wife about her grandfather, "that was kokum's brother". 

Our lives are not lived in a straight line. We move, we change partners, we have friends, we leave friends, we have children, we leave our children, our children die, our parents leave, we experience all sorts of good things and not so good things. That is life. Along the way we do pick up dirty little secrets. But what the heck, what you going to do?

Keep your secrets, and learn to forgive yourself. After all we can try and fix things as we go along.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the post. Now when I get my tea I'm gonna remember your story. Dirty little secrets- how true. you are right forgiving ourselves is the only way of conquering those things that haunt us