Monday, October 14, 2013

"What the Hell you doing?" ... "mmmm - nothing"

This singer, Shaggy had a song called "It Wasn't me", do you remember that song? Basically Shaggy is giving advice to this young man about lying. The young man is confessing to Shaggy that he was caught fooling around on his girlfriend with another girl. Shaggy's advice, "it wasn't me".  I know this guy from back home who told me the same advice some years ago.

This guy, Jimmy told me about his own adventure as an illustration on how to handle a delicate situation. Jimmy was fooling around with this younger woman named Debbie. I used to crush on Debbie when I was a kid (Actually I crushed on many girls, but never went beyond admiration from a-far). Anyway Jimmy was a little crazy over this younger woman and he wanted a way to be with her, without getting his wife Marilyn wise to the situation. So Jimmy had a get together with his wife and "their" friend Debbie. The get together included drinks. It was getting late and time for bed after a number of drinks. Jimmy and Marilyn went to bed while Debbie took the couch. Jimmy waited for the breathing of Marilyn to change. "Ah-ha, Marilyn is sleeping"... the sleep of someone who has had a number of drinks. That deep sleep.  So old Jimmy slinks out of bed and goes to join Debbie on the couch for some hugging, kissing and "letting the good times roll".

Son of gun, didn't Jimmy fall asleep on the floor in the living room. Guess who was sleeping beside him, with her arm draped across his waste?

The light of morning was all around the room.  Jimmy stirred a bit and felt something is not right. Jimmy opened his eyes. Staring down at him, with a look that can only be described as scary, was Marilyn.  Jimmy jumped up and rushed into the kitchen, all the while zipping his pants and buckling his belt. Marilyn was on his back talking, questioning and yelling. Jimmy was thinking all the while his ear was being blasted with sounds that seemed to be coming from his wife's mouth.

"Nope", he said, "Nope."  "Nope" was all that Jimmy could say.  Not sure if it was nope he couldn't understand how he got on the floor and how his pants got unbuckled, but Jimmy was sure it was "Nope". At this time it is unclear as to what happened to Debbie or what she did or said.  Jimmy told me that he just kept denying that anything happened.

I have some of mine own "It wasn't me" stories, but nothing as classic as Jimmy and Debbie (names have been changed to protect the innocent). Like the other night for example: it was 1:30 in the morning and everyone was sleeping. Well everyone except for me. I was up and so figured "hey I should take pictures of Aviree sleeping". Aviree is our 6 month old granddaughter. She stays with us. My wife has to get up early and go to work. My daughter has to get up and go to school. So anyway, I was busy getting the camera ready, talking to our dog Bruce Willis and just exploring the house as I was thinking. I went into the bedroom and started to snap shots of baby with flash going. All of a sudden, "What the Hell you doin'!!!"  I turned and saw my wife with her index finger point at me. I said what I always say, "nothing".  I guess all that talking walking, opening doors and shuffling was a bit loud.

But that is my standard line, "nothing".  Thanks Jimmy for the great advice.

No comments:

Post a Comment