Saturday, March 14, 2015

Penis Size... Oh what a way to attract an Audience.

Listening to CBC radio and one of the things that researchers have discovered is that the Penis is a subject that everyone is interested in.  Well the size I guess is what got 15000 men to let their penis be felt measured both soft and erect. But the thing I am interested in is the amount of traffic that labeling your post with the word penis is sure to attract. The radio jock said that one of the most looked at topics was the penis.  So I thought hey?!? (Lightbulb going off in my head, and not those soft light kinds either, like the new compact fluorescent lightbulbs, but like the old incandescent lightbulbs with sheer brightness)

I have been posting stuff for about 5 years and the amount of traffic volume is just not there. I need validation, God Dammit!!! If exposing a penis or two will let me recieve validation, well let's expose the penis in all its wonderful glory. Come see the penis and all that it has to offer good readers.

I believe that I do have something to say, whether or not it means anything or nothing. I just like to talk; to express myself; to share my demons; my angels and my words. Call me big mouthed (but I really shouldn't bring the mouth subject into this post because of context and content; it might be taken out of context or it may be taken literally) but I do like to share my opinion.

Everyone likes a good penis story and this one has been going around the Reserve for some years now. Its told to me by the Morrisseau boys about one of their relatives, Clarence I believe. It does have to do wth the size issue (the penis size survey) in the news recently. You know the study on penis size?  The average penis is about 5 and a quarter inches (lot of collective whews and rubbing sweat of the foreheads out there). I know I told this story before but it belongs in the Penis post so...

Clarence was having a party, drinking beer with his buddies in the little kitchen of an apartment. Friends sitting around boozing it up with Clarence the host and the king of the castle. Clarence, He was the man! So he says to his wife, "Get me a beer before I give you the nine!".  Clarence's wife glances back at him and she retorts, "that's not nine, I've had nine before and that's not nine". 

Clarence had a fight with his wife.

I put this joke out there on this Indian forum and the Women on that forum pretended they didn't know what the reference was to.  Come On!, everyone knows the Nine and what it refers to.

The penis envy will always be there unless it becomes more of an open thing. Television is shy to show penis on tv, but full frontal nudity for Women is becoming the norm.  Just watch any cable show and you can get all the viewing you want. I think if you want to see a hint of a penis on tv, you might get a glimps of two on those cable shows or you can watch a movie with that guy from "How I met your Mother", he likes to whip out his penis.

I think the penis is relative to the body size of Women. I mean that Women are seen to be attractive if they have a certain body size, you know, like all those tall skinny models. So men have to have a large penis in order to be attractive. Crazy I know.

Why can't you be judged of performance and not size? Why bother to have a giant magnificant penis if you have no staying power?  Anyway,  I asked my friend if he was still trying to be sexual active at his age. I said you drink all the time, you take lots of pills, you smoke like crazy, your don't do no exercise, I mean how can you even think of doing anything?"

He kind of got mad at me.

The penis the start of many a fight.

If you go the our Rez you may hear a phrase or two with the word or words; enaugh or enuck, kinaugh or keenuck, wiinaugh or weenuck.  That is someone saying "penis, your penis or your (collective) penis.  It is used as a comment of surprise, disbelief, or slang like 'get out of town'. If you are telling a story someone might answer with "ah eenuck"; meaning that they are either laughing at the story, not believing your or saying your full of shit.

Thing is penis is never far away from the mouths of people.

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