Friday, February 10, 2017

What You Wish For Your Kid

As I still deal with the aftermath (long aftermath) of my Son ending his life by Suicide in 2005 I still know what I want for my children. I want them to better than I am and was. I want to them to have a good education, a good career, a good partner, to be happy and have a good life.

There is a lot of talk about the Suicide epidemic in the Indigenous community these days. That is a good thing.

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Facts on Suicide Rates

Youth suicide is an urgent issue for First Nations and Inuit youth in Canada. While there is much variation among communities, overall rates are high.
  • Suicide rates are five to seven times higher for First Nations youth than for non-Aboriginal youth.
  • Suicide rates among Inuit youth are among the highest in the world, at 11 times the national average.

Addressing Youth Suicide Prevention

Suicide is a problem that not only affects youth but impacts the whole community. The ripple effect of trauma is powerful in small, close-knit Aboriginal communities, possibly accounting for suicide clusters.
For many First Nations and Inuit youth, the root causes of suicide go much deeper to factors beyond an individual's control. For some, suicide becomes a means of escape when there are few alternative choices available. Suicide prevention generally involves finding ways to reduce risk factors and promoting protective and preventive factors against suicide.

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We all want the best for our kids. At least I think we all want that. There might be exceptions. Still even there our those of us who want the best for their kids.

Thing is we can't live anyone's life but our own. We see some parents trying to live their kids lives. Just go to a hockey rink or a football game and watch parents. They put so much pressure on the kids.

We all try to have control but the reality is we don't have any. We can only try and control the choices we face. Choice is a hard thing. Some of them are. Other choices are automatic and easy. We wish the best for our kids so our choices should reflect that. After all these years I still struggle with choices I made and make. There are so many influences which affect our choices and of course have an affect on our kids.

How in the heck do we know we are making good choices? The choices will result in our children having the best of life?

When we say we want the best for our kids and yet we make choices that may negatively impact them. We smoke in the car with babies. We smoke in the house with kids. We have parties while the kids are in their rooms listening to all the noise. We fight our spouse in front of our kids. We stay up all night making all sorts of noise and expect our kids to have a good rest. We send to school with dirty clothes and no breakfast. We scream at them when they spill their juice. We buy so much pepsi and give them junk food and expect them not to be affected. We do all sorts of stupid choices and really don't think about what is best for our kid. But we want the best for them?

The regret of hindsight. How I wish I was smarter when the good advice was given to me by my Mom.

That's the thing, we may do all the best and make the right choices but we have no control over the outcome of our children, our kids. Its all comes down to making the choice on their own. We can only try and give good advice and show them good choices but it is out of our control.

My Mom was a cool person, no pretense. She told me once, "don't let them catch you". She was referring to the police. The police did not have a good reputation in our community. Not sure it has changed much. You see my Mom wasn't telling me to be a smart criminal or anything. What she was saying was make good choices. Don't put yourself in a position to be involved with police.

I remember the advice my Mom said our Mishoom gave to her and Dad.
Mom said Mishoom told them to be like this and not like this. Mishoom held out his finger and pointed it straight and then he bent his finger. He went on to say "if someone says meet them in town, and you say you will, you make sure to meet them in town." You see it was not easy to get into town back in those days and if someone made the effort to get to town you made sure to keep your word. In other words "be your word".  That is the advice my Mom gave to us kids.

No whether we chose to follow that advice is something else.

You only want the best for your kids.



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