Wednesday, January 27, 2010
You lie! Would I lie to you honey?
Lying is a kind of thing we do to get ourselves out of trouble. My son Donovan he was funny as a kid. He would say anything that came into his head at the time. No hesitation. On the garage door there was a big scribble of a name. The scribbling said Donovan. Suzie asked Don, "who did that?" Don said "Ed did it." No hesitation. Don was nine at the time. We laugh now. We wondered why Ed would print-scribble Donovan in big letters across the garage door. That type of lying is innocent. It's preservation. Trying to keep yourself alive. We know that at the time there was no malice, no intent to harm, no intent to injure when our boy lied. He was such a character. He always told on himself when he did something. He would tell on himself and his brother Ed, a little while after they did something.
I wonder when lying becomes instinct? When it becomes more than simple preservation and moves into the realm of being malicious, spitefull, hurtful and just plain mean? Lying is part of life, how we used the lie is a piece of what we are. I am notorious for slinging the bull. I do it as entertainment. The bigger the bull the more the fun. I am also gulity of being very naive. I will believe anything that I see or hear. Not very much of a critical thinker. I happily believe what I am told or what I see.
This one time I was watching a news show and the topic was about growing large potatoes (it is spelled with an "e"). The talking head was explaining about growth hormones and type of ground in the east, when the tv shot went outside and there was this potato the size of a man. I called my wife, "hey look how big this potato is". She came and looked, it turned out it was a plastic potato sign. I really did believe that they had grown a potato that size. I also remember being told by my grade 5 teacher that zink was the lightest metal and that we didn't eat enough meat. Our mouths were going to be shaped like that of a carp. That really scared me. I didn't understand how evolution works.
Lying can be an ugly thing. Or even calling someone a liar can be ugly. When Joe Wilson called President Obama a liar during his speech. Mr Wilson's insult was more a reflection of his own deep seethed demons, rather than Obama lying. The insult demonstrated that lying is not innocent. It can be a very awful and bad act. We are very interested in lying. We are infactuated with lying. There is a new television show based on the liar. The tv show is a reflection how ingrained lying is part of society. There are many movies that like to show us how lying can get us into trouble, even how funny lying is. People are used to lying. But at the end of day, people want to know when someone is lying. Even better is that people don't want to be lied to. We will tolerate it, but that doesn't mean we accept it. Whether its buying a car, renting a movie, listening to our elected leaders, we want to know that what is being said is true.
I don't like being lied to. I always tell my kids that lying is no good. It is almost as bad as betrayal. But yet, lying can save us from harm or can save others from harm. Lying like Bush and Cheney is an example of how devastating that lies can be. Still even though we see how bad lying is, there is some merit in it. I will always lie when it comes to how your butt looks in those pants. I will lie when I say that meal was great. I will lie when I say that our community is the best in the world. I will lie when I say that I will respect you in the morning. I will believe everything you tell me. I will not question what is said. I believe that my kids are good and always are doing right. They say what we don't know doesn't hurt us. I wonder if not saying something is the same as lying? If my daughter doesn't tell me that she is going with a loser, is that the same as lying? I guess it's not lying. Just don't ask anything and you won't be lied to. It really doesn't matter, as I should be satisfied that my girl is happy. Or I wish her to be happy. And as for judging anyone as a loser, I have no right, afterall I might have been a loser as well.
Yes, I want to believe that people will not lie to me, even if I am a big fat liar, pants on fire.