Saturday, April 17, 2010

It's like death at a funeral

Went to the funeral of my deceased friend Merv's little girl yesterday. She was 21. Not sure how she passed, overdose is the talk. Sad situation. Very sad.
I saw a number of relatives from my family there. Our families are inter-twined in the Reserve. My sister is married to Merv's brother. The Mom of the girl comes from a big family on the North shore of the Reserve. Death can be a hard thing, especially unexpected. Death can also be a comfort. Not right away of course, but perhaps in the case of suffering. Still anytime you come close to it, it's difficult.
The church has a divider so it can be cut into two big halls. The church burned a number of years and they built and addition. The addition holds the main preaching area. The old portion is for additional seats and that is where WAKES (AWAKES) are held. When we went to the service, viewing of the young girl was still going on. Outside of the Church a fire was still going. People light a fire and keep it going throughout the duration of the Wake. Lot of people were at the church for the service.
I took my Dad, my daughter and my grandkids. People visit during the time of a Wake. I watched the family of the young girl, the siblings, the cousins. The crying was just too much to take. The hurt, the anguish, the sorrow. It felt we were intruding on a very private moment. I felt awful. It's like part of them was dying right there along with the girl.
It's a hard thing to keep your emotions in check. If ever there is a time to let your feelings flow I guess that would be the place. Being at the funeral service makes you feel sorry for the family, and a bit thankful for your own children's safety. I don't think that enters your mind, but after we think about it, we wouldn't want to be standing by the casket, wishing, wanting, longing for it not to be real.
I have to be positive and try the best we can to make sure our kids are okay. Make sure we listen. Make sure we have fun with them. Make sure they can come to us for safety. Make sure when they turn around we are there to be there with them.

1 comment:

  1. Kia ora Steve,
    Thank you for the reminders. I am going to go hug my teen ager right now. Kia kaha.