Friday, April 16, 2010

When is it okay to butt into someone's life?

I am not the best person to be giving advice to people. I see trouble coming up for friends of mine. How can you mention something without butting in? It's like that. We know better now that we are older and want to give good advice to our younger friends and family.

We do not realize how much stress we can put on people. Our mannerisms, our barbs, our criticism of our partner, our grouchy mornings or days. I have seen it many times. I see how it can make you feel physically sick because of the stress.
We keep our biggest grouchy-ness for the home. We keep our biggest smiles for acquaintances. We hug those that are barely friends and are cold to those closest to us.

I want to tell my friend this. I want to tell him that we don't know what we have until we lose it. I want to tell him that it's not enough to be a good provider. It means more to say I love you. It means more to say I am sorry.

I want to tell them that make sure to give your friend the chance to go out with other friends. Keeping a wide circle of friends keeps your own relationship closer. Isolating ourselves can be hard on ourselves. We need to get our friends the chance to go out and share with others. Don't let them stay home all the time. Create some space.

I want to say we need to think about our friend. Think how our actions make them feel. Think about what we said. Think about if our words are causing too much harm that it can't be fixed.

I want to say giving gifts won't fix hurt. The fixing starts with being aware. Being aware of what we do and we what we say.

It's a hard thing to be aware. Because that means we might have to change. Might have to change how we act. How we say things.

It's never a good time to butt in. I am not sure if I would have taken advice. Even Mom's advice didn't take. Maybe it's a Mom's job to say something?

In any case our interest in people's life is because we care for them. We don't want them to make the same mistakes we have.

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