Ojeenay, Do Bad and Bad will Bad You

 I am not too old, 65 and relatively doing okay. Sure I have the pain in my shoulders and weak hands. I have diabetes, never expected to get that as I'm not a big sugar person. I do however like bread, lots of bread. Maybe it contributed to my sugar being out of whack but who knows. All I know is I lived a pretty long life already. I am curious and wonder about my impending demise. Will I  get dementia and live obliviously to what is going on around me? It could be something for sure. I am kind of excited to know what will happen. Not that I'm welcoming my end of existence but it will come regardless of what I think. Will I be killed in a car accident, going 120 kilometers an hour down a gravel washboard road and I serve onto the side of the ditch hitting a large oak tree or a poplar tree. Or maybe I just get sick with diabetes and start to lose my limbs. First a foot, than more of the leg and then the other leg. So I'm in wheel chair and the wife puts me in a home. I certainly hope not. In any case there are reasons I might have a bad death. 

When you're young you don't have the experience to really understand your stupidity. The stupid, the mean and the ugly things you do. When I was about 18, I was out hunting with some cousins and they were younger than me. We saw a Big Black Bear in a farmers field. It started running away from us. I aimed at it and pulled the trigger. I was using my Dad's old 3030 Winchester model 94. The Bear fell in its tracks. We took off. I killed a Bear with no intent to use it. It was an ugly mean act of pure evil. Killing a Relative, an animal that did no harm to anyone. An animal known for its medicine. I did that. I was told about Bears later on. How a skinned Bear resembles a person. How the Bear carries medicine.  

My Dad always use to speak of Ojeenay. You were never ever to do wrong to animals. You will be punished for doing bad to animals. I broke that rule, that common sense knowledge to do right. I decided in a moment to kill for the sake of killing. Fuck me anyways. No wonder Ojeenay followed me. Maybe it still follows me. I never did apologize for taking the Bear's life. Perhaps I should try and do that, Feast the Bear and ask for it to forgive my ugly act. Maybe it will give me a a task to do, I don't know.  

Last week I was in a situation where a Medicine Woman was available. I had no real reason to go see her, but for about a month or so I had been feeling wrong, my body felt off and it was like a dark blanket was on me. So it was just happenstance that I go the opportunity and did go offer tobacco, gifts and a little money. I also had an ugly incident from a fellow in the Reserve. I also bit into a small piece of ham and didn't I break my teeth. I had a front bridge that was connected to my teeth. The teeth broke off at the roots. So it hurt for a bit, as the nerve was exposed. The Medicine Woman did Ceremony for me. She discovered a person did "Bad Medicine" on me. Same guy who did me ugly in the Reserve. Go figure it was not something I didn't expect. After all the guy is a douche. That's the technical term for him. So I'm not to act against him. Ojeenay will be his future. 

I have done lot to be regretful, ashamed, guilty for and that is for sure. There are also many things I feel good about. Will I ever balance the scales of doing Bad and doing Good? 

I never ever forgot the Bear. His last movements I still see clearly. I do remember everything. 

Will I remember anything as I go meeting my death. 

One of the things is I know the wrong I have done, no amount of scolding from others can cause more harm to me than I harm myself. 

Where Are Your Fucking Receipts

 We are trying to bring a Ceremony to our Reserve, Sagkeeng Anishinaabe Nation. The Ceremony will be for both Women and for Men: Water Protectors ("To be a Water Carrier is to protect water as life itself...") and Ogichidaa ("the word originates from components that suggest growth (Ogi-), greatness (Chi), and Heart/Spirit (-Daa). It represents a person who embodies courage, compassion, and the protection of their people"). Our Reserve has a little more than 9,000 people registered to our Band/Nation. More than half of our Members do not live in the confines of the Reserve. The people who reside in the Reserve are truly blessed to have a community with relatives. The Ceremony we are trying to have is just another block to add to the future of our community. 

Sunday Afternoon
North End Bear Clan
We sure had a wonderful day in the neighborhood! We were able to hand out sandwiches, juice boxes, snacks, sweaters, & smiles. Thank you so much to our amazing, dedicated volunteers & our friends from 190! Stay safe & please look out for one another out there (Facebook)

I am a fan of people who do the work. These folks are volunteers. They go on the streets. They meet with those who are needing help. They speak with people, they listen to people, they help people. This is the work of Protectors, the Ogichidaa. They are the ones who have the "receipts" for what they have done for their community. We need more of these people. The ones who do what is right and walk with kindness. We need to also recognize they are regular people who do live life which includes mistakes, vulnerabilities and shortcomings. Still through it all they want to live a life of doing what is right. Many try. 

There are some who are full of shit. I had the privilege of dealing with a fella in our Reserve. He claims to be "Traditional" and works in the community in that way. What he is trying to say is that he walks the Red Road, a walk of being a good person, a person with respect, humility, compassion, kindness and all what goes with being Traditional. It's akin to being a Christian, a person who believes in the Teaching of the Church or Bible.  A person who "loves thy neighbour." When someone boasts of walking this road, it is not usually meant as a they are kind and to be respected for their Beliefs. In some cases, it is to put you beneath them. Fuck those guys. Show me the fucking receipts. How do you walk when it is not about your pay? Of course there are many, many good people who are employed in a care industry and do make an earning for their work. But to them it doesn't stop at the bell, when it's time to go home. No, they are walking and earning their receipts out in the community outside of their jobs. Good people, helping people, they are. They have been doing this most of their lives. For others, it is performative. Performing an act. They go to bed with the "fooled em' again," as their mantra. The only thing is they are not fooling anyone. We see them, you see them. 

So the bringing of the Water Protector-Ogichidaa Ceremony is not for performance. There are those already being the "Great-Hearted-Ones." They will come take a pledge to continue their way of living. It is just in this Ceremony, they will pledge to themselves and the Creator, in front of witnesses, that they will live a life of being a good community Ambassador. A person who will stand up for the Land, the Water, the Community, the People. 

For the guy/girl who uses the title of Traditionalist or Christian just to try and cloak themselves in respectability, go suck a moo arse. You don't have any receipts to show your are doing the work. 

Murdered Missing Indigenous Women Walk Winnipeg 2026

 February 14 Canadian Women (and men) gather to remember the Many Women who have gone missing or have been murdered. I have gone to some of the walks in the past, decided to go this year. I meet people, relatives, friends  who go to support the families. I see Bernice is still bringing awareness for her girl, Jennifer. There is a feeling of overwhelming sadness but you also see the resilience of the survivors, the families still searching and remembering. I see Sue Caribou still using her voice to bring justice for Tanya. There are many names, and most I don't know anything about. I marvel at those who continue to show up and support. My nieces are there with some of their children to take part in the Remembrance Ceremony and Walk. The hurt is still there and the people are not giving up. Our Reserve has its share of Women who have gone missing and have been murdered. It is disheartening to see small turnout of our community at these Gatherings. I know you can't go to everything that is happening. 

We see you Women who never give up. 

Grand Chief of MKO 

Denise is a long time volunteer 

Canada Bring Conscription

There are 49 countries who have mandatory military service requirements of their citizens. Yeah, we know North Korea and Israel are examples of the ugly face of conscription. Still, there must be some good for people to serve in the country's military (not a question). There was a documentary on the Fifth Estate about the Black kids being taken from Toronto. As you can guess, it's an ugly life for these boys and their parents. I did write about Indian kids should be joining the army. In the post: "The Armed Forces is a way out of the life of slow death. It can give hope to a group of youth that are deemed to fail. Doomed to face a hard short, in many cases violent life. A life of despair, not the good life. The Armed Forces can provide a new lifestyle, not a street lifestyle. It can give them pride. Pride in who they are and what they can be. A view of something other than decay, rot and slow death. A view other than the falsehoods of gang life."  

The notion of being forced into the Army is frightening. You lose your freedom for a specific period of time. For sure this is not what anyone would agree to. I think we have no choice to give away the freedom for a brief moment in the life. The Fifth Estate highlights how society sees the Blacks, the Indians and we are nothing (in their eyes). The only lives that matter are not ours. The military provides an escape from the world which doesn't see or care. Hopefully in the military, you can be part of something, some kind of team. Maybe learn some life skills that can you can carry throughout your life.  Maybe you become to like the army and make it a career. Who knows? 

Would Canada have the guts to introduce mandatory military service? After all, it is only the Global South we expect to have forced military service. Surprise, "go ahead and call the cops, you don't meet nice girls in coffee shops."  Greece, Switzerland, Denmark, United States (yes they still have it, but are not using it, but can at any time), total of 15 countries in Europe, Finland, Norway,  New Zealand does not have mandatory military service.  Canada borders a Wild Boar. "This Wild Boar is an invasive species which destroys: Feral swine (wild pigs, boars, or feral hogs) are a destructive, invasive species that are prevalent in the U.S."  The Wild Boar has no natural predator. "Territorial agencies are actively working together to manage the threat and damage caused by feral swine and to mitigate their impact. This collaboration includes: NATO, NGO's, ICJ. 

Canada in terms of military strength is anemic, like a marsh mellow, the small colourful ones. Not the big fluffy ones, Canada's military is not big, it's small and soft. It's actually still capable of being a military with spirit and some bite. 

In the end maybe having those Brown and Black kids in the army will quiet down those white supremacists who have made the army their home. 

boldeagle@forces.gc.ca

100 million, What our We Going to do with it?

 Our Reserve is going through interesting times. Our Chief and Council are coming up to their third year in their four year term. Yeah, we went "Custom Council" and made our own election law. Supposed to be different than the Indian Act election rules. In my opinion our Reserve's election law is funny, stupid funny. The folks who drew up the law, did some wild dancing in a dark room, naked, listening to Tiny Tim's Tiptoe Through the Tulips and came up with a dog's dish of an election law. We have just voted on a TLE for 100 million dollars (20 or 30 million for lawyers fees). The TLE process was years in the making. The Band didn't get into court and settled out of court. The community had to vote on the settlement and the Trust Agreement attached to it. First round of voting, not enough of a clear majority, a second vote sealed the deal. Where things go from here, I don't know. Our Reserve has not made sound financial decisions in the past. Not suggesting any misdeeds, rather just stupidity and naivety on our part, which happens to many people. Montana Power is a prime example of stupidity in doing business and bad decisions. Montana Power was making good money and did some crazy selling, the result loss of cash and lots of it. The reason I point this out, it's not just an Indian thing of being stupid in business. 

I recently started working in our community a few months ago. It seems I'm a functioning Depressive. Luckily I'm in no position of authority or decision making authority. It would not end well for me, I'm sure. I am told what to do and it is rewarding: no drama, no inter-office romance, no high-level-executive-meetings, no firing children from their dungeon toil of  digging holes, making shoes and shirts. I never knew just how bad our Meth problem was in the Reserve. The amount of homeless Indians in the Reserve is gummy eye opening. We do Harm Reduction activities to try and help. Other than this news, I'm sworn to secrecy to protect names of people and I intend to honour my Oath to Office. 

It's funny because I tend to tell stories of my deeds on social media. I may have exaggerated a time or two about my magnanimous exploits of courage, heroics and romantic encounters. Lot of what I share is factual. Like the time I pooped my pants while I sped away from the cops, stopped over by a train on the tracks, and I lay under the train as it hummed in the spot. I watched the cop hand lights as they ran around my abandoned truck. Yeah, I was 18 and drunk as a turtle waste high in ketchup and maple syrup. I escaped the arrest and took a cab to the Reserve, which cost $65 dollars, it was 1978. I only actively drank alcohol to 19 years of age. A funny story, I stopped drinking New Years eve, 1980. The Chief we have now is the guy who beat me up that night. He beat me so bad, I didn't drink after that. Mean bugger he was, I can still feel the hurt he put on me. Funny thing is I like talking with that guy. 

The TLE process is a closed door. We don't know the formula used to calculate the amount of compensation for loss of land, the potential, the length of time and what things were worth back then compared to today's dollars. Me, I did vote yes. Not that I am happy about the amount or the Trust agreement and how it will be looked after. What would you think the community should do with it? The TLE will be locked in a Trust Fund. People are afraid of a consultant company owned by Phil Fontaine. His partner is Kathleen Mahoney, one of the Architects for Indian Residential School agreement (TRC).   I guess the membership of Sagkeeng no longer trusts them. I don't know but I am sure the community will use the Trust as a guarantee for Bank Loans. RBC is the Trust holder and people know Phil has a long time affiliation with Royal Bank. Naturally people wonder about the selection of financial institution and who decided. There is no use for people to complain as it is a done deal anyways. 

We are all hoping good things come out of the Trust Agreement. How the use of the Trust will grow and be used for the betterment of the community. Lot of folks were hoping for a direct payout of the Trust to community membership. Me, I thought that would be nice but who benefits? Not the community but the outside community from the purchasing actions of the people. The money would be gone in moments, to used car dealers, appliance stores, and other retail outfits. Quads, skidoos would be all over the Reserve. Not sure about off-Reserve folks and their purchases. With the Trust maybe the community will decide to do some exciting stuff, maybe small manufacturing business, who knows. I know if you give a dollar to someone poor, they are going to spend it. We don't have finance portfolios, savings bonds or other money instruments. That is a upper white thing. Poor people of all stripes will spend. They won't try grow it because they need it now. 

So the Band will have some cash to toy with. Some ideas on how to play is what's next on the agenda. 

My Friend Died Today

 You know life gets weird as you get older. I mean older older, not like when you are in your forties and you think that is old, but really it is not. As we get older, we start to lose more and more people. The word is surreal. Your normal life is not the same anymore. 

I have many friends, and I don't have contact with them anymore. Still they are my friends. We all go like that, life gets different so we don't have the contact with friends we once had. Like when you are friends as kids. You may not have relationships with people you once were as kids. It is a life journey. We don't stress over it or long for those long gone friendships. When they die, we do reminisce of days gone. I regret some of my actions when some of my friends died. I always wish I could have been a better friend. 

I always see "true friends" memes and quotes on the internet, like social media sites. I think they are wrong. Friendship is not a linear path with just one long good time with each other. "True Friendship" is messy, it's fun, it's pain, it's being vulnerable with each other, angry with each other, letting each other down and forgiving of each other.

That is my friend. We shared a lot of love together. We shared real anger. We shared many laughs. We shared tears. We shared hostility. We shared fun, lots of fun. We shared stories. We shared loss and we have shared blessings. 

I drove down to the Reserve to visit with the family. The drive was a journey of memories. The good, the awful, the bad and the great times we had. He was a an arse for sure. He was a gentlemen. He was a protector, and aggressor. He was a husband, father, grandfather, uncle, cousin and an Indian, an Anishinaabe. 

I find myself feeling weird. I long for the days of my youth and my friend was a part of that, actually a big part of it. Not saying it was always good, heck no. We fought a lot. But we sure had a heck of a ride. Lots and I mean lots of laughs. Lot of those laughs were at the expense of others. Teasing, calling down, making fun and that was common. The brunt of those teased either walked into it knowingly a target or those clueless. In any case, they walked away whispering "fucking prick." Many a target was hit. Don't think my friend was immune to being hit as well. That's how it works, if you slam, expect to be slammed. I was hammered many a time, and still came back. Lot of folks kept putting their "hand on the red hot element" again and again. Foolish eh? 

In our Reserve lot of that going on, "how in the heck can people be so dumb." We had many a conversation of how we kept seeing the foolish, the dumb, the dimwitted, and  our own selves. My friend laughed as he spoke of our Leader. Saying "I wonder if they go to bed at night saying, fooled 'em again." Meaning our leadership pulled a Trump, "lie and they will believe." Of course everyone knows. My friend said "yeah he fooled me too." Everyone was I say (laughing with my friend, but from a good spot in our heart). 

I will miss my friend as I find myself in a weird place. 

Oh yeah, Fuck Cancer. 

Warren Zevon had brain Cancer, knew he was not long for the world, he wrote this song. 

Man, that guy is a real jerk.

 I was at the Canada Post office today. A fellow sent me a Pipe from the US. This guy has integrity. Lot of folks out there will take your money but won't deliver on what they paid for. A cousin was slammed over the internet for not delivering on the goods she was selling. Not a good thing to do. Any case you only have your own face to look at. Can we look at our face and say, "boy you're cute, you're doing good in the world, and you're trustworthy."  I throw cute in there because, you can only be ugly if you can't look at your own face. Looking at your own face because you are a real jerk. 

The Canada Post counter person, saw me looking at the coins in the display case and he said "they got a lot of nice coins coming out." I agreed and told him, I was a fan of the coins but stopped buying them. I used to buy the coins that were full value. I mean the face value of the coin was what it cost to buy. For instance a $30 coin cost thirty dollars.  Canada post stopped the practice of selling coins for face value. You know why? It was because of a real jerk. Yeah, one real jerk screwed it up. The thing was he was just proud of his actions. What he did was this: he would order a large amount of face value coins. He would pay by credit card. He would then return the coins and Royal Mint of Canada would accept the return and give back the amount. So the guy has not spent any money but yet collects points. He was on the news bragging about this scam. He was a law school student. He was actually bragging about his theft. What a real jerk. I don't know if you can purchase coins at face value now. 

The power of Christ compels you. The power of Christ compels you.

Like many I can be the jerk who won't look at their own ugly face. But man, I am trying to be cute. Doing lots and lots of cute things: picking up after myself, doing chores at home, not swearing at jerks when it's expected. Giving Alms to the poor. Especially, when the poor is an Indigenous Woman. There are so many people at road intersections with their hands out, "Alms for the poor, Alms for the poor." Interesting not all the intersection Stevens are not Indian. Some of them are actually middle age and older White men. Strange, I know. Doesn't fit the stereotype of who is asking for change. The bad thing for people, the poor is, not much people handle cash these days. It is the use of interact plastic cards or credit cards. So when I go to the bank I will get cash and some change as well. Just in case I want to be cute and not a real jerk. So I will try and give when I can to the Indian at the interaction. Most times I am not walking, I am one of those driving jerks. 

In our Reserve there are some people who are damn cute. They just go about being kind to others, compassionate and say nice things. They say nice things to and about people. They say nice things that are happening in the community. Damn cute I say. Then again, (audible loud long sigh) there are the real jerks. Folks who do not find joy in things in the community. This are the real jerks. I'm talking "man, that guy, that Woman, is a real jerk." 

The power of Christ compels you. The power of Christ compels you.

We had a small Elder brunch this morning. The Health Centre sponsored the Brunch. 10 people came for the brunch. Bad timing, pension day. One participant was telling us, this used to happen a few years ago with people getting together for breakfast. The food would be cooked as people arrived. It was a very nice setting for people to visit. One guy got angry because the food was taking too long and started swearing around. She said, "I never went back." Man,, that guy was a real jerk. 

That's the thing isn't it? Man, that guy is a real jerk, and the thing is, he or she will spoil a good thing. 

Rotten dirty buggers with warts on the bums. 

I wish you are cute. The cute where you can look yourself in the mirror and say "man, that guy is cute."

Can only be cute when doing good things. 

G'waabaamin Neechies 

The Power Of Neehies embrace you. The power of Neechies embrace you.