Don't Expect People You Were Mean To, To Like You

"Forgive me for beating you, tormenting you relentlessly, I was young back then." Our Reserve sure had and has its share of bullies; people who enjoy the torture of others. The tormenting may have been endless teasing on you, or worse, violence on your body. It is quite weird how many of the bullies make out in life. It is like they have not been touched by Doondjinaay, Karma, the big ledger book in the sky, the reciprocity of ugliness, the what goes around comes around and they'll get theirs prophecy. Not that we should relish in someone's pain or suffering but why do we have to forgive them? Should we forgive them for our own peace of mind? I guess it makes sense. After all why should we spend time, energy on someone, something we have no control or business with? But still, forgive them? Mayo Clinic says forgiveness is good for you and they know their stuff: "By embracing forgiveness,  you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy." Who wouldn't want to enjoy hope and joy? So okay we can forgive those mean buggers who hurt us. Doesn't mean we don't have to like them. 

I know lot of folk who have been mean. Mean to others both physically and verbally, they were out right cruel. The cruelty they have inflicted on people is lost on them. They don't even realize the pain they have caused or how it still resonates on the victims. The wild thing, is they don't expect anyone to forgive them, because they don't think they have done anything wrong. They even get upset when their past is brought up. Sure the past is the past and we should not live there or even park our car there, but the past shapes us. The past is like the knee of Derek Chauvin on our necks; it chokes us to death. If we continue to live like our past, we should not be surprised if it is vomited back in our face.  It is weird when cruel people are upset when someone doesn't like them for their cruelty. Cruel people want to be cruel to those who don't like them. And people don't like those cruel individuals because they are cruel. Cruel people can not understand why people don't like them. Cruel people use a power they have or power that we give them. Power can be through their size, their employment position, their financial status, and their community standing. 

In the end we can forgive those who are cruel but we don't have to like them. I still don't think forgiveness is always the road to take. Look at Donald Trump and his cruelty, his selfishness, his hatred, his greed, his ugly mean spirit. Should people forgive him? The guy locked up kids, separated them from their families and didn't even take time to make sure the kids' parents names were recorded. The kids may never find their Moms and Dads, ever. And the caging of kids is not even the cruelest,  meanest thing he did. If there was ever an argument against forgiveness, Donald Trump is it.  So we don't have to forgive those who are cruel, but we don't have to carry their burden as well. Can we though, can we not forgive them and still be able to find joy? 

Cruelty is not limited to the individual. Every aspect we can attribute to an individual we can also assign it to an entity. Our own countries can be extremely cruel. The United States has been cruel to so many people and yet this same US wants them to sing praises, put their hands over their hearts for them, send their kids to be killed for them, stand for the US flag and keep voting them into office. Canada has a similar attitude, except maybe for sending their kids to be killed as much as the US does. The US will send your kids to be killed so big corporations can make more money and the US will tell people "hey it's for freedom." The US will punish you if you kneel rather than stand when the US anthem is sung (which has roots in Slavery).  Still the countries want you to like them regardless of how they treat you. The thing in the practice of cruelty by the countries is primarily aimed at Indigenous, Blacks, People of Colour, the LGBQT community, and the poor. It is ugly how the cruel use their power on people who don't have any. 

You have seen the message; Canada/US love it or leave it. A zero sum approach to a relationship, like us or get the hell out of here. It don't work like that or at least it shouldn't. We shouldn't have to be bullied into liking them. Perhaps if they try to make amends, change their historic ways, maybe then we can reconsider. When people start to change how they use their power, their attitudes and behaviours we don't have to like them or forgiven them. And even if they do alter their behaviour, try make amends for the cruelty, we still don't have to like them.