Being Nice Should Be Announced To The World

I was hanging around with Ceremony people in Vancouver a number of years ago. There was this one fellow telling me about his efforts at Ceremony. He is what we called a Skhabay (Oshkaabewis is the proper way to say it in Ojibwe), a Helper. He wondered how come he didn't get things. There are gifts given out but usually the gifts go to the "head people;" people who conduct the Ceremony or have a good title. He felt unappreciated and not recognized for his work. After all, many of the Ceremonies are set up by the Helper. The protocol followed by people is to present a gift to the Elder, Medicine person when you seek their help. The Helper is important to the Ceremony but is not always acknowledged. This is not always the case as the Give Away is a Ceremony where people are acknowledged. The Give Away is exactly that, a give away of gifts. Ideally everyone in the crowd of a Ceremony (like a Sundance Give Away, Powwow Give Away, a Memorial Give Away, a Birth announcement Give Away, etc.) is given something. The type of gift is not the significance, it is the gift and what it represents and how the receiver of the Gift acknowledges the Gift Givers. For the fellow sharing his frustration with me, it is a normal feeling. We all need to be recognized once in awhile, to be acknowledged. Sometimes we need to speak up and let others know we are working hard, and should be acknowledged. I realize it is not always acceptable to talk about ourselves, but asking for validation is not a bad thing. The Helper hit me up for one hundred bucks, he borrowed. I never did get the hundred back (smiling as I remember this).

Three things I know I don't like: getting the middle finger, someone who lies to me, being called cheap. I find giving someone the middle finger is an ugly gesture and is actually worse than telling someone to go "F-themselves." The anger I feel from being giving the finger is visceral and immediate. I just want to pull out a defender shotgun (the short barrel black guns) and shoot at a concrete wall, and that is how much it upsets me. Why it brings such a reaction is beyond my understanding.  The second thing I don't like, being lied to, it is insulting. The lie breaks your trust. Lying to someone to make yourself look better is just not right. I am not a fan of the lie. Not the story lie (aka the bull shit story), but the lie to excuse your behaviour or actions, that lie is no good. The lie doesn't make me angry, it makes me sad. So sad that I want to take out a sharp bowie knife and cut up the laces on my Kirkland (Costco brand)  running shoes. Makes me want to have my shoes fall out of my feet as I am walking in silence.  The third thing I dislike is the cheap label. I'm not referring to the something is cheap, inexpensive label. If you can get something on the cheap good for you. I am talking about the person who is selfish, greedy and not willing to share. There are different kinds of cheap. There are people who hoard things. I am like that, I like things but end up giving things away. I do not agree with those who are cheap, not willing to share, the person who hoards for themselves. I know many people who are very generous. My Dad was one of those people who didn't know how not to share.  I also know people who begrudge others; begrudge them of having a decent job, of having a decent vehicle, of having a good partner in their lives and a host of other things. This person is the one who is truly cheap. They are insatiable with their want of things and begrudge others who may have a little bit of something. These three things should not be celebrated. Some people will say, "I'm forthright and honest" but in reality they are just being arseholes. Yet they announce their actions to the world like it is a good thing. 

There are things I like, it is the good deed, the unselfish act. Even when someone is not looking they do the nice act of giving, of sharing and being kind. The person who is working all day long in a difficult job but has the time to give a couple of bucks to the "down-on-their-luck-with-their-hand-out" individual. They are tired, maybe not having the best day but it doesn't change who they are; nice people. Then there are those who go on social media and complain: "Lorrie Steeves is really tired of getting harrassed (sic) by the drunken native guys in the skywalks. we need to get these people educated so they can go make their own damn money instead of hanging out and harrassing (sic) the honest people who are grinding away working hard for their money. We all donate enough money to the government to keep thier (sic) sorry assess (sic) on welfare, so shut the f**k up and don't ask me for another handout!" I am not sure but this doesn't sound much like being nice? Maybe I am missing something here. If we can go announce to the world we are not nice, shouldn't we be able to announce to the world, we are nice? 

I get it, if we tell the world how nice we are, it takes the "nice" out of being nice. It seems we are tainting the good with the message that we did good. It confuses me a bit though. I mean why is it so normal and accepted to say all sorts of nasty mean things? Yet if we say something nice, something charitable, something thoughtful, it is not looked at as a good thing? We are quick to condemn the good announcement of a good nice deed. I want to tell you about the things we have done and how they are nice things. Convention dictates it is not kosher to announce the nice things you do to the world. We should announce the good things; either some else's good or our own good. 

There have been many initiatives to showcase role models (we automatically assume role model to be good, right?) and good things happening around the world and in our community. So why can't we announce our own good things, good deeds? I am sure you are doing some good stuff and no one but you knows. I guess it is to be humble and I get that. Still be brave and let the world know you have done good and you hope to inspire others to do good as well. 

Let me start: My friend called me last night and ask to sleep over. After getting the okay from my wife (her permission to say yes), I said sure to my friend, "sure I can let you sleep at the house," and my wife sent me to pick him up. How's that for a start? Now you, please. 

I am good eh?