You know life gets weird as you get older. I mean older older, not like when you are in your forties and you think that is old, but really it is not. As we get older, we start to lose more and more people. The word is surreal. Your normal life is not the same anymore.
I have many friends, and I don't have contact with them anymore. Still they are my friends. We all go like that, life gets different so we don't have the contact with friends we once had. Like when you are friends as kids. You may not have relationships with people you once were as kids. It is a life journey. We don't stress over it or long for those long gone friendships. When they die, we do reminisce of days gone. I regret some of my actions when some of my friends died. I always wish I could have been a better friend.
I always see "true friends" memes and quotes on the internet, like social media sites. I think they are wrong. Friendship is not a linear path with just one long good time with each other. "True Friendship" is messy, it's fun, it's pain, it's being vulnerable with each other, angry with each other, letting each other down and forgiving of each other.
That is my friend. We shared a lot of love together. We shared real anger. We shared many laughs. We shared tears. We shared hostility. We shared fun, lots of fun. We shared stories. We shared loss and we have shared blessings.
I drove down to the Reserve to visit with the family. The drive was a journey of memories. The good, the awful, the bad and the great times we had. He was a an arse for sure. He was a gentlemen. He was a protector, and aggressor. He was a husband, father, grandfather, uncle, cousin and an Indian, an Anishinaabe.
I find myself feeling weird. I long for the days of my youth and my friend was a part of that, actually a big part of it. Not saying it was always good, heck no. We fought a lot. But we sure had a heck of a ride. Lots and I mean lots of laughs. Lot of those laughs were at the expense of others. Teasing, calling down, making fun and that was common. The brunt of those teased either walked into it knowingly a target or those clueless. In any case, they walked away whispering "fucking prick." Many a target was hit. Don't think my friend was immune to being hit as well. That's how it works, if you slam, expect to be slammed. I was hammered many a time, and still came back. Lot of folks kept putting their "hand on the red hot element" again and again. Foolish eh?
In our Reserve lot of that going on, "how in the heck can people be so dumb." We had many a conversation of how we kept seeing the foolish, the dumb, the dimwitted, and our own selves. My friend laughed as he spoke of our Leader. Saying "I wonder if they go to bed at night saying, fooled 'em again." Meaning our leadership pulled a Trump, "lie and they will believe." Of course everyone knows. My friend said "yeah he fooled me too." Everyone was I say (laughing with my friend, but from a good spot in our heart).
I will miss my friend as I find myself in a weird place.
Oh yeah, Fuck Cancer.
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